The most important thing to remember is that the disease is causing the behavior. Your senior isn’t saying these things to purposely hurt you.

But trying to keep that in mind while they’re yelling isn’t helpful enough. We’ve got 7 effective tips to help you manage this difficult behavior and reduce the stress and resentment it causes.

Understand why someone with dementia is saying mean things

First, it’s important to understand why this hurtful behavior is happening. Mean comments or hurtful accusations could be triggered by something in their environment that causes discomfort, pain, fear, anxiety, helplessness, confusion, or frustration.

Dementia is a brain disease that causes parts of the brain to shrink and lose their function. Different parts control different functions like memory, personality, behavior, and speech. Dementia also damages the ability to control impulses, which means actions aren’t intentional.

Even though it’s difficult, do your best to remember that they truly don’t mean the mean things they say. This behavior often happens because they’re unable to express what’s actually bothering them. Accepting that they’re not doing this on purpose reduces your stress and makes the behavior easier to manage.

7 ways to manage mean dementia behavior

1. Calm the situation down
The first thing to do is bring the tension level down. You can do this by limiting the distractions in the room, like turning off the TV or asking others to leave.

If you stay calm, they’re more likely to calm down. It might help to count to 10 or even leave the room for a short time to cool down. Repeat to yourself “it’s the disease” as a reminder that they’re not intentionally doing this.

If the current activity seemed to cause the agitation, try shifting to a more pleasant, calming activity. Or, try soft music or a gentle massage.

2. Comfort and reassure while checking for causes of discomfort or fear
Take a deep breath, don’t argue, and use a calm, soothing voice to reassure and comfort your older adult. It also helps to speak slowly and use short direct sentences.

Then, check for possible causes of agitation or fear, like:

• Pain or discomfort
• Signs of overstimulation
• Feeling disturbed by strange surroundings
• Being overwhelmed by complicated tasks
• Frustration because of the inability to communicate

It also helps to focus on their emotions rather than their specific words or actions. Look for the feelings behind what they’re doing as a way to identify the cause.

3. Keep track of and avoid possible triggers
Whenever difficult behavior comes up, write down what happened, the time, and the date in a dedicated notebook. Also think about what was going on just before the behavior started and write that down as a possible trigger. Having everything in one notebook helps you find possible causes for the behavior.

For example, if your notes show that your older adult gets angry and starts calling you names around 4pm on most days, it could be because they haven’t eaten since noon and they’re hungry. They may not realize it or don’t know how to ask for food. To test your theory, try giving them a snack around 3:30pm to see if that helps prevent the outbursts.

4. Check for a UTI
A urinary tract infection (UTI) can put a lot of stress on your older adult’s immune system. That can cause sudden, unexplained behavior changes like difficult behaviors, more agitation, or being less responsive than usual.

5. Consider an adult day program
You might also consider enrolling your senior in an adult day program. These are places where your older adult would go for a half or full day of activities and socialization.

Interacting with other people and participating in a variety of enjoyable activities can reduce stress and help them sleep better. That can improve their overall behavior and reduce their need to act out.

6. Join a caregiver support group

Caregiver support groups are filled with people who really understand what you’re going through. It gives you an important outlet for stress — you can vent your frustrations so it will be easier to stay calm when your senior is being hurtful.

7. Lean on family, friends, and other help to get a break
Always being around the same person can make anyone annoyed and short-tempered. This goes for both you and your older adult.

Taking some time away can help both of you. Ask family and friends to take over for a few hours or hire a caregiver. Taking regular breaks gives you a chance to take care of yourself and gives you both a little time away from each other.

Two greymates trying to help an elderly

Exercise and physical activity are good for just about everyone, including older adults. There are four main types and each type is different. Doing them all will give you more benefits.

Endurance, or aerobic, activities increase your breathing and heart rate. Brisk walking or jogging, dancing, swimming, and biking are examples.

Strength exercises make your muscles stronger. Lifting weights or using a resistance band can build strength.

Balance exercises help prevent falls
Flexibility exercises stretch your muscles and can help your body stay limber.

Before you start:
Make sure your doctor has certified you fit enough to exercise.

Elderly balance exercises are fun but they can also be challenging.

Make sure you have a stable family member on hand when you begin to practice these exercises.

You will be more confident in performing the exercises and having a helping hand to hold will allow you to better focus on maintaining your balance as you get used to the exercises.

You can call a family member to keep watch or in the event you live alone, you can call Greymate Care on 09090904226 for a companion while you exercise.

We are Nigeria’s number one home care agency backed by technology.

The early stage of Alzheimer’s disease (also referred to as “mild Alzheimer’s disease”) marks a beginning that will bring with it important changes for you and the people who care about you. Some people aren’t aware that they have the disease during this stage, and they may not be diagnosed until they are past it.
When you are diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s disease, you will likely be still able to keep doing much of what you have been able do and you will probably only need a bit of help during this stage. You may be able to understand how your abilities are changing. If this happens, you can tell others what it is like for you to live with the disease. You can help to plan and direct the care you will need in the future.
You may also be feeling overwhelmed and scared or nervous about the future. It is normal for both you and your family to have many mixed emotions. These can include feelings of grief and sadness. Many people are concerned about how the changes will affect them, how they will plan for the future and get the help and information they need. The following are suggestions for living life to the fullest. Please note that the term “early stage” refers to people of any age who have mild impairments as a result of Alzheimer’s disease. This is different from the term “early onset,” which refers to people who have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at a younger age than usual.

Common Symptoms and helpful Strategies
Forgetfulness
•Use labels, notes, calendars, alarms/timers, pill dispensers.
•Post emergency numbers by the phone.

Difficulty learning new things and following conversations
•Break tasks into small steps.
•Realize your limits.
•Tell people what helps you to be part of the conversation.
•Take breaks or rests.
•Write things down while you are talking with others.

Difficulty concentrating or limited attention span
•Pick activities that you can manage.
•Do one thing at a time.
•Listen to talking books and CDs or watch DVDs.
•Take breaks or rests.
•Follow routines.
•Avoid overstimulation: seeing, hearing or doing too much.
Problems with orientation, getting lost, not being able to follow directions
•Ask friends and family for rides.
•Use taxis.
•Be realistic about your ability to drive (consult your doctor).

Communication difficulties
•Take your time and tell others that you need more time to express yourself.
•Take someone with you to doctor’s appointments to help talk about the information and make it clearer.

Mood changes, depression
•Keep physically active.
•Eat healthy foods.
•Stay socially connected.
•Acknowledge and share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust.
•Try meditation or other stress-reduction techniques.
•See your doctor, if needed, and take medications as prescribed.
•Do things that bring you pleasure and meaning.
•Take one day at a time.

Mild co-ordination problems
•Use safety features like handrails and grab bars.
•Remove items that may cause tripping hazards.
•Add more light so you can see things more clearly, especially around stairs, hallways and entrances

Difficulty doing challenging cognitive (thinking) tasks
•Realize what you can do and the limits to this.
•Get help with tasks. Call an agency near you and hire a support worker.
•Focus on activities that you can manage and enjoy.

Difficulty making decisions
Ask for help from family and friends
Ask for professional help, from lawyers, social workers, etc., if the decision needs it. Hire a caregiver from a reputable agency to assist with Daily Living Activities. If you’re wondering where to find a caregiver, call Greymate Care on 09090904226 or send an email to info@greymatecare.com

Wrong Medication Management

So the prescription says ‘3x daily’ but you have to go grocery shopping, pick up laundry and wouldn’t be back till late in the evening. You come back thinking it’s just a dose and you probably administer the midday and evening dose all at once! That is a very bad case of overdose and could further complicate your loved one’s condition.

Intentional Delays

You know for sure that your loved one has moved his bowel and quickly needs a change but you just want to catch up on last night’s show or quickly fix yourself a cup of tea. It’s your first attempt and nothing goes wrong and before long, it becomes a tradition and you intentionally procrastinate every change or bath. Be reminded that due to lowered immunity due to age, your loved one is susceptible to bacterial infection from diapers and this could further worsen his case.

Resentment and Anger

Remember the time you let out a long hiss in the kitchen out of frustration. First, you missed your friend’s party because you had to stay home and watch over your loved one, now the nice soup you served has been rejected because his mood changed and he would rather have bread instead of the soup he requested earlier. If this sounds familiar, you’re definitely guilty of this sin and yes , we’re judging you. You could do with respite services from a reputable home care agency.

Looking for that reputable home care agency? Try Greymate Care, Nigeria’s number one home care agency backed by technology. Our services include home nursing, home help, personal care and companionship services all delivered in the comfort of your home by a trained caregiver. You can call us on 09090904226 or send us an email to info@greymatecare.com

We are glad to inform you that Greymate Care was selelcted as the best business during the She Means Business Digital Challenge hosted by She Leads Africa and Facebook . Three entrepreneurs pitched at the event and we won. We won by running numbers of how many good service users like you we have, and how many to sign up in future. We couldn’t have done it without you guys. Thank you. Greymate care loves you and promises to remaim the true home care agency that has your interest at heart.

• How long has this provider been serving the community?
• Does this provider supply literature explaining its services, eligibility requirements, fees, and funding sources? Many providers furnish patients with a detailed “Patient Bill of Rights” that outlines the rights and responsibilities of the providers, patients, and caregivers alike. An annual report and other educational materials also can provide helpful information about the provider.
• How does this provider select and train its employees? Does it protect its workers with written personnel policies, benefits packages, and malpractice insurance?
• Are nurses or therapists required to evaluate the patient’s home care needs? If so, what does this entail? Do they consult the patient’s physicians and family members?
• Does this provider include the patient and his or her family members in developing the plan of care? Are they involved in making care plan changes?
• Is the patient’s course of treatment documented, detailing the specific tasks to be carried out by each professional caregiver? Does the patient and his or her family receive a copy of this plan, and do the caregivers update it as changes occur? Does this provider take time to educate family members on the care being administered to the patient?
• Does this provider assign supervisors to oversee the quality of care patients are receiving in their homes? If so, how often do these individuals make visits? Who can the patient and his or her family members call with questions or complaints? How does the agency follow up on and resolve problems?
• What are the financial procedures of this provider? Does the provider furnish written statements explaining all of the costs and payment plan options associated with home care?
• What procedures does this provider have in place to handle emergencies? Are its caregivers available 24 hours a day, seven days a week?
• How does this provider ensure patient confidentiality?
In addition, ask the home care provider to supply you with a list of references, such as doctors, discharge planners, patients or their family members, and community leaders who are familiar with the provider’s quality of service.

Contact each reference and ask:

• Do you frequently refer clients to this provider?
• Do you have a contractual relationship with this provider? If so, do you require the provider to meet special standards for quality care?
• What sort of feedback have you gotten from patients receiving care from this provider, either on an informal basis or through a formal satisfaction survey?
Do you know of any clients this provider has treated whose cases are similar to mine or my loved one’s? If so, can you put me in touch with these individuals?
If you ever need a home care agency that answers all these questions, you can contact Greymate Home Care Agency through the website, www.greymatecare.com or call 09090904226. An email can be sent to info@greymatecare.com , follow on Facebook, Twitter and instagram @greymatecare

Two greymates trying to help an elderly

You finally took the time to study your loved one, he checked all the boxes on our checklist and you both came to the conclusion that a caregiver was required, and you took up the role. Here’s a round of applause for you. Not many have successfully taken this step like you did. You both refused to live n denial and have taken the bull by the horn.
You are on your A game as a caregiver, you know the details of his medication, spot mood changes easily, know what food to serve at every given time, and even his preferred bath water temperature. Despite all these, you start feeling some sort of resentment, tiredness, inadequacy like you are not doing enough, guilt, impatience. What you are about to experience is called a Caregiver’s burnout.
Caregiver’s burnout is a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude and is usually caused by unrelieved caring for a chronically ill dependent. Caregivers are often so busy caring for their loved ones that they neglect their own physical, spiritual, emotional and mental health and this finally results in a burnout.
Here are some tips to help you recognise, prevent and recover from a burnout.
Below are signs that show you may be having a Caregiver’s burnout;
Chronic fatigue
You suddenly notice that you feel tired all the time, this usually progresses to physical and emotional exhaustion and you begin to dread every dawn, and all the activities of caregiving suddenly begins to feel like a chore.
Insomnia
You may have trouble falling or staying asleep up to two nights a week, despite a strong sense of exhaustion, you still struggle to have a full night’s sleep.
Forgetfulness/Impaired concentration and attention
You lose focus easily and tend to forget where items are placed. You pile up duties and procrastinate before you get anything done.
Increased illness
You notice symptoms of flu, fever, dizziness and general malaise most of the time. This is because your immune system has become weakened and you have become more susceptible to immune-related medical problems.
Loss of appetite
You lose interest in foods you would normally love, skip meals and begin to notice a significant amount of weight loss.
Anxiety, Anger and Depression
You notice your mood swings become more pronounced and you become easily irritated by the dependent, less friendly and want to remain behind closed doors all the time.
If you answered positively to any two of the signs above, you may be suffering from a Caregiver’s burnout.
Caregiver’s burnout is normal and is frequent among family caregivers. Here are ways to recover from a burnout ;
Respite Care Services
Get someone else to replace you temporarily. You can be replaced within the family or get external help by calling a home care agency and requesting for a short time professional caregiver. This gives you time to unwind, reboot and reload before you resume your caregiving duties.
Set realistic goals
‘Don’t tight the world to your chest’. Do what you can and save the rest for later. Truth is you will never feel enough, always be in communication with your loved one on what he likes at every given moment, make sure he is always happy.
Treat yourself from time to time
You can ring up Coldstone for a quick ice cream or call for a home massage. These things help relax you and takes your mind off the stress of caregiving.

Seek professional help
Always keep in touch with a good home care agency. There are good home care agencies around Nigeria. You can call Greymate Home Care on 09090904226, or send an email to info@greymatecare.com. We are on facebook, instagram and twitter as @greymatecare. We are Nigeria’s number one homecare agency and we take the stress of care off busy professionals so they have time for other life’s hassles.

However, in the absence of the above, one is likely to ignore other latent signs and keep living in denial and may not request help early enough, which could lead to further deterioration. Worse still is when it’s our loved ones who are living in denial and we have to be the angel of doom that breaks the news and you don’t even know if the signs are normal or if they finally have to call for a carer. Woe betide you if you misjudge them and they have to finally tell the world that the village winch they’ve been praying about has manifested with its little kitchen stool.

To make life easier, here are some red flags that tell you that you/your loved one can’t live independently;

1. Declining health: The most common sign is declining health as mentioned above. It is usually accompanied by difficulty with walking, balance and mobility, difficulty getting up from a seated position, poor diet and weight loss, forgetting to take medications, or taking incorrect dosages.
2. Living conditions: The condition of the house is another sign to look out for. Spotting day old leftovers in the sink, expired groceries, strong smell of urine in the house, blackened utensils, laundry piling up, broken appliances and extreme clutter in the bedroom is a sure way of knowing things are not okay.
3. Poor hygiene and personal care: Tattered and dirty clothing indicate that one is struggling with daily living tasks and may require help. Once you notice unpleasant body odour, infrequent showering or bathing, skid marks on clothing, faecal smell on clothing, it is time to hire a carer.
4. Behavioural changes: This is the least noticed sign and can be easily blamed on other reasons such as NEPA doing their thing or our very hot weather. However, we have to look out for loss of interest in hobbies and activities, changes in mood or extreme mood swings, sudden anger issues and withdrawn tendencies.

If you answered yes to any of the signs above and you’re thinking, ‘where can I get a carer in Nigeria’? There are good home care agencies in Nigeria or you can check Greymate Care for a reliable carer. We are available 24/7 and you can reach us on +2349090904226 or send us an email to info@greymatecare.com. You can read more about us on www.greymatecare.com. Until then, we love you and we remain Nigeria’s number one home care agency.

Welcome to Greymate Care – Nigeria’s number one homecare agency.  We don’t know how you got here, but we’re really glad you did and we’ll fight tooth and nail, give an arm and a leg, to make sure you don’t leave here the same way you came. Let the church say Amen!!!!! Okay, before you start wondering if this is a church forum or a home care blog, it’s really a homecare blog and even though we can’t make the blind see or the deaf hear or the lame walk (okay, we promise to stop the church thing), we can guarantee we’ll do the following;

• Share tips on how to improve the lives of the elderly and disabled in Nigeria and Africa at large.
• Debunk all the myths surrounding aging, homecare and disabilities
• Teach you to stop dulling and hire a carer by the click of a button
• Encourage the family caregivers who toil night and day to care for their sick loved ones
• Educate on the importance of homecare and paid care support workers to prevent burnouts
• Take you with us on the journey of life as the elderly and disabled see it in Nigeria
• Bore you stiff with all our accolades and achievements which are already piling up, by the way

We saw the face you did with the last one…we’ll warn you before we drop any news on that, moreover you are sure to see it first somewhere else given our popularity.

If you managed to read up to this point, we are thankful you found us interesting. Thank you! Gracias! Obrigado! Ese! Dalu! Nagode! Feel free to share your stories in the comment section. We listen to all topics, anything from caring for an elderly person, suffering and surviving a stroke yourself, cancer woes or any question that has bothered you on home care, aging and disabilities.

Remember, we are Greymate Care- Nigeria’s number one home care age ncy and we provide home help, companionship and personal care services to the elderly and disabled in Nigeria. Call us on +2349090904226 for a trained carer.